SNOW WHITE

The famous tale of the beautiful Snow White has traveled around the world for centuries. My
lady with skin as fair as snow and lips as red as roses has a special place in every little girl’s
heart. I’ve read every version of her story as the years have gone by, however, never in my long
life have I found an accurate one. Whoever said Snow White was good or kind or caring? Yes, I
agree I have never seen a maiden as beautiful as she, nor as graceful, and of course, she is a
princess. Nevertheless, these qualities do not automatically make a woman perfect in every
way.
Another very important thing I must tell you is: that no one tries to kill a little girl just because
she is beautiful. She must have done something or another to disturb someone’s mind so
greatly that they were desperate to murder her. That someone was the ‘Evil’ Queen in this
case, as you may know her. She was Queen Valencia to me and a great and mighty ruler she
was. After Snow White abandoned me and my brothers once she had married her poor Prince
Charming, the Queen took us in and cared for our every need. By the way, speaking of myself, I
am Grumpy, the third of the seven dwarves, here to tell you the reality of Snow White since no
one else is aware of it.
Snow White was the royal princess of our kingdom and its sole heir. Therefore, ever since her
birth she was spoiled and pampered in every way known to mankind. Her astounding beauty
shocked whoever laid their eyes upon her, which she soon learned to use to manipulate
everyone into her doing. As soon as she had reached an age where she could think for herself,
she kept the King and Queen oppressed and on the verge of bankruptcy with all her demands. It
was always something new, “I want my castle!”, or “I need a dress of diamonds”, etc, etc. She
bullied and insulted everyone around her and threw terrible tantrums if they tried to stand up for
themselves. The beloved little princess soon became a terrible threat as the commoners
discovered that displeasing her was a direct gateway to heaven or hell.
Soon, the timid, well-natured Queen met her death. Snow White was seventeen by then, and
even the King had learned to fear her. He married the most beautiful woman he could find in
competition to Snow White. She was not quite as beautiful but then again, no one was. The
King also married Valencia for her fierce personality in the hopes that someone would finally be
able to handle his daughter and discipline her so that she could be fit to rule his kingdom
someday. Thankfully, that day never came for Snow White’s character could never be mended.
One night Valencia had said so to the King and in a sorrowful voice with his eyes turned down,
he sighed, “I know”.
The new Queen and the Princess had constant disputes, mostly verbal but sometimes they
became physical too. The physical fights were like mini wars, where
both the women rallied their followers in an attempt to kill the other woman and her followers.
Meanwhile, the King lay in his bed, trying to return to his first wife. Finally, in one of these
small-scale civil wars, Snow White was captured and put in the dungeons. That was not the
end of her story. The girl always had a way with animals. Every night she gathered the rats
before her and whispered to them in unknown languages and every night a palace guard
sent to watch over her died. She could have easily escaped but instead chose to retaliate in
this manner to threaten the Queen. Queen Valencia then decided to poison the princess’s
lunch, just an apple, to finally get rid of the menace once and for all, but it didn’t work. A
stupid hunter who had been captivated by Snow White’s beauty broke into the dungeons just
as she was about to take a bite to a merciful and painless death. “Fair Princess it is I, Philip,
the huntsman, here to rescue you.” Seeing his proud, unknowing smile, Snow White gave
him her shy smile, and fluttering her eyelashes she replied, “My hero! I will reward you
handsomely for this service”. Behind his back she smirked, amazed by his idiocy. Queen
Valencia, of course, was enraged. She knew Snow White would silently and inconspicuously
wreak havoc wherever she went and would eventually return to her kingdom more powerful
than ever.
Outside the kingdom, no one would know about her cruelty and wrong intentions and would
most likely follow her blindly in whatever she did or said. In desperation, she sent half her army
away to search for her and publicly announced her escape. “My people,” she said as she stood
before them, “our princess has escaped. You all have experienced her wrath firsthand and know
that she is not to be trusted. There is no need to worry or have fear as I have sent as many men
as I can to protect you. If you find her, you must return her to the castle and you will be rewarded
a chest full of gold coins.” With that the Queen calmly surveyed the crowd with a satisfied
expression, seeing the jaws dropping at the mention of such a huge amount of money. Then,
she turned around gracefully back into the castle, praying someone would find Snow White
before it was too late.
Meanwhile, Philip led Snow White deep into the forest. “No one shall find you here, Your
Majesty”. Inwardly, Snow White wondered where ‘here’ was; instead, she simpered, “Oh Philip
you brave, brave man! I could never thank you enough!” Philip looked bashful and kicked his
feet out in front of him, “Your Highness, just being in your presence is enough for me” Snow
White looked away, blushing, wondering how soon she’d be able to get rid of this fanciful hunter.
Very soon, she thought she had found her chance. “I am ever so tired, Philip! Do you see that
cave over there? Would you mind just checking it for me to see if it’s safe?” Philip happily
agreed and entered the cave. Snow White walked on, hearing angry bear noises and the crunch
of bones, knowing without having to turn back that the hunter was done for.
Now it’s time for me to enter her story. Me and my brothers were down in the mines, searching
for any precious gems that we could sell to provide us a living. We’d lived in our tiny cottage
outside the kingdom in peace for centuries. It was both close to the mines and away from the
humans, who hated us for our differences from them. We were short and almost immortal, wiser
than them all but also more reckless, and louder. After all, we had plenty of time to spend our
lives and tried to have as much fun as possible whereas in their tiny lives, all they could do was
grow up, get a job, get a family, and then die providing for that family. Anyways, Snow White
must have stumbled upon our cottage at some point because when we returned, we were
greeted with a bashed-up door and a nice big rock sitting next to it.
My oldest brother, Doc, hauled up his pick-axe and barged into our cottage with a shout of fury:
“Who has trespassed into the cottage of the dwarves?” The six of us remaining brothers hurried
after him, on our guard. We ran to our bedroom where Doc abruptly stopped. We crowded
around two of our beds that had been joined together on which the most beautiful young lady
any of us had ever seen lay. All around her, animals also slept; birds, rabbits, deer, hedgehogs,
and more. My brothers and I just stood there, entranced by the scene surrounding us. “Let her
sleep,” whispered Doc, “We’ll see to her once she’s awake”. As my brothers tiptoed out of our
room, I watched Snow White and there was an uneasy feeling in my gut which I decided to
ignore. It was the first time I had decided to distrust my gut, and I still regret it. However, that
was the power of Snow White.
That night, we all slept in the lounge, on sofas, and on the floor. It was my youngest brother,
Dopey, who woke us up. “Guys! She’s in the kitchen,” he hissed. With bleary eyes, I carefully
walked into the kitchen and rubbed my eyes a few times to make sure they weren’t playing
tricks on me. There in front of me was the girl, dancing around as all the animals made her
breakfast. “Ahh, you’re all awake! Hello, my name is Snow White”, she giggled and continued in
a bright, chirpy voice, “It’s a pleasure to meet you!” We all stared at her, then stared at each
other, then slowly walked back to the lounge. “So… Who else saw that?” asked Sneezy. “Wasn’t
she the most amazing person you’d ever seen?” sighed Happy dreamily. So we all discussed
her and decided to let her stay for as long as she wanted.
On hearing that, Snow White seemed ecstatic. She made the animals do all of our chores as
well as hers and acted extremely pleasant. However, just as we had gotten used to her, things
changed. “From now on, you may not refer to me by name. Use my title only…” and she
revealed everything to us. We felt so betrayed, and I felt ashamed of myself for trusting her so
blindly, just because of her beauty. “Well then, my Lady, get out”, said Doc darkly. Then the
animals attacked. “NO!” I cried out, trying to help Doc, but the rest of my brothers held me back.
They told me Snow White would do the same to me if I intervened. So I turned my back on Doc,
ignoring the screams of agony, ignoring the fact that my oldest brother was being ripped to
shreds by innocent animals. Snow White practically enslaved us after that. It was my lady this,
my lady that for 7 more years. The title still slips out of my mouth at times, making me feel like a
devoted fool.
So, after those terrible 7 years, a basket of apples was found at our cottage door.
Scrumptious-looking, juicy red apples. Dopey found them at our door and was practically
drooling when he brought them in. We were just about to split them amongst ourselves when
Snow White walked in. “Well, what is that you’ve found?” she asked with one eyebrow raised
and a suspicious smile. Even after all she’d done to us, I still found her beauty so breathtaking
sometimes that I got dazed for a few seconds. I could see all my brothers were in the same
situation so I cleared my throat and replied. “A basket of apples was left at the doorstep, my
Lady.” Snow White put a finger to her chin and stared thoughtfully at the apples. Temptation
must have soon overrode suspicion as she snarled, “Bring them to me then! Or were you filthy
beasts planning to feast on them yourselves?” Mopey, my now oldest brother, handed over
the basket dejectedly. We all watched as Snow White took a nice, big bite and dropped
straight to the ground.
We stood there, shocked. “Check her pulse,” Mopey said to me. I put two fingers to her wrist
and then her neck, no pulse. I also brought her hand mirror to her mouth and when no mist
formed I gave a whoop of joy. “She’s gone!” I yelled. All of us started singing, dancing, drinking,
and celebrating. Some time later, we recalled the moment and even Dopey admitted that I
seemed as happy as Happy that day. I gave him a good kick for that.
We slept in peace that night, our terror had finally gone. We left her body where it was, deciding
it wasn’t worth worrying about yet. Early in the morning, I heard some sharp knocking on the
door. I got up and marched to the door, yelling, “Who is it now?” In front of me stood the Queen
and a dozen guards. First, she looked at me in surprise, then her eyes shifted to the corpse in
the room right behind me. So while my brothers slept, me and Queen Valencia exchanged
stories. Eventually, they woke up too and we decided what was to be done with Snow White.
“I decided to make a poison but my power was limited,” the Queen told us, “hence if she gets
kissed by a powerful man such as a king or prince, she will wake again. I would need to hide her
somewhere but if she returns to the kingdom she will be seen and there will always be someone
foolish enough to kiss her”. We all listened, then brainstormed. “What if,” Mopey said slowly, “
we keep her here.” So it was decided that Snow White would stay here in a coffin, deep in the
forest but right outside our cottage so we could keep watch on her. That way no one would find
her or if they did, we could stop them from kissing a corpse. The Queen could tell her kingdom
that Snow White was finally dead.
Again, many years passed by, and our lives returned to normal. Or as normal as they could get
with the absence of Doc who I’ve missed every day since he left us. With time, however, we
grew careless. We left her unattended at night, barely watched her even in the day, thinking
what could she do? Who would even come here looking for her? Turns out, rumors travel,
probably starting from one of the guards. A prince was searching for her. He found her while
we slept. In the morning we were met with an empty coffin.
We informed the Queen and she forgave us. She even let us stay in the castle for as long as we
wished. The kingdom remained constantly on high alert because the Queen knew her and knew
she would take revenge. When Snow White took over her prince’s kingdom and many more and
waged war against Queen Valencia’s kingdom, all of us brothers fought. We fought until either
we perished or the war ended. The war lasted a day, that’s how powerful Snow White’s army
was. That was the day I lost all my brothers and a merciful Queen. I wandered away quietly
when all hope was lost, vowing I would let everyone know of Snow White’s evil.
I built myself an even tinier cottage in another part of the woods. I learned of Snow White’s
autobiography, or in my opinion, sob story where she made everyone seem against her, made
Queen Valencia seem evil and herself an angel. Somehow, we were considered very good in
the story. I guess it was so people would think she was kind, tolerating us dwarves whom other
humans are so repulsed by. As soon as I heard of this fabricated tale I left for a faraway land
and learnt to write. I told this story, my true story, the reality of Snow White so many times, but it
always disappeared eventually. Even after her death, Snow White’s beauty fooled so many that
they would never believe that she could be evil. This is the last time I will tell this tale, after this, I
am giving up and retiring. I found a nice house in the Bahamas on a great deal and I’ll go stay
there till I die, hoping my story becomes the most widely accepted version of Snow White.